John C Maxwell
Leadership expert and best-selling author of The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership
Connecting with People
- Would you like to influence your boss?
- If you could gain influence with people it would increase your leadership abilities.
Leadership=Influence, nothing more nothing less!
- Many people talk to people, but don’t connect with people.
- If you think you are leading but look behind yourself to see if anyone is following you. If not, you are just taking a walk.
Connecting=ability to identify with and relate to people in such a way that it increases our influence with them!
- How do you connect with others?
1. Connecting is all about others: if we are going to connect effectively with others we must realize it is not about us, it is all about others.
- If you help other people get what they want, they will help you get you what you want. Zig Ziglar
- Early on I was trying to get people to help me, I had it backwards, I had to turn it around, and begin to help others first then my success rate started to change.
Put others first!
- If you are at the top all alone, you are not a leader, you have no followers.
- Connect with people where they are.
- Get off mountain and go to where people are and then take them up the mountain with you. Then you have accomplished something as a leader.
Leaders never cross finish line first because they are bringing others along with them, it is a little slower, but that is what leadership is all about.
- When you are younger your are immature, you are more selfish, think of self first, like a little child. This should not still be the case in adulthood, but it is still the case for many aspiring leaders and it is a road block to their success as a leader.
It’s Not About You!
- True connectors understand this statement.
- It is all about others.
- Must committed to always think of others first.
When you become leader you give up your rights to think of yourself first!
2. Connecting requires energy: we must work hard at it, if you are good at connecting you must spend effort and energy to accomplish connecting with others.
- You must do it intentionally.
- You must exert an effort to connect.
- It takes more energy and effort with some people than others.
- As soon as you get married you have a powered outage, prior to marriage expend lots of energy connecting, after wedding vows are said you quit working at it in many cases.
- Connectors understand that if they are going to connect they will have to give it a lot of effort, give it a lot of energy.
Who do you have to expend a lot of extra effort and extra energy with in order to really connect with them?
Connectors find common ground
- Connectors are constantly looking for common ground.
- Connection is based on similarity, not difference.
- If we ate lunch together, I would ask questions looking for common ground and then camp out there because that is how I connect with people. Find common ground and build from there.
- I find common ground then I take them to higher ground over time.
- Once you find common ground you can elevate them to higher ground by connecting with them where they are currently.
- Walk slowly through crowd in order to connect with people, notice people, take time to recognize them and appreciate them. These are some keys to connecting with people.
- Care for people!
- Be open.
- Strive to be open with our lives.
We can make a choice not to be open, we can stiff arm people and keep them at a distance. This method will keep people from hurting you, but they won’t help you either.
Go out and increase your influence with others!