#03: Unlock This \"Insane Superpower\" for Better Leadership Communication

Hello Leader,

Have you ever felt stuck in a tough conversation, unsure how to move forward?

What if a simple shift in your language could dramatically change the outcome?

Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator and author of Never Split the Difference, reveals a powerful communication technique that can transform your ability to lead and influence others. The key? Labeling negatives.

Most of us are trained to highlight the positives when making our case. We present our value proposition, emphasize benefits, and hope for the best.

However, research shows that negatives have three to nine times the impact on decision-making compared to positives. Addressing potential objections head-on is far more effective than ignoring them.

Why Labeling Negatives Works

When you call out a negative emotion or concern, it doesn't reinforce it—it defuses it. Voss emphasizes this point repeatedly:

"Labeling negatives defuses negatives—every time."

Imagine you're in a conversation, and you sense tension. Instead of avoiding it, you might say, "It seems like you might have some concerns about this approach." This simple acknowledgment can immediately reduce resistance and open the door for a productive discussion.

A Two-Millimeter Shift with Massive Impact

Voss shares a striking example:

When Michael Vick, former NFL quarterback, prefaced a comment by saying, "I don't want to sound disrespectful," people immediately assumed the next thing he said would be disrespectful.

What if, instead, he had said, "This is probably going to sound disrespectful…"?

That small change would frame him as a straight shooter, increasing his credibility.

This subtle language shift has a profound psychological effect. By labeling the negative upfront, you take control of the narrative and remove the sting from potential objections.

Real-World Results

Voss reports that this technique can resolve months-long negotiations in as little as seven days. Leaders he coaches consistently shorten their negotiation timelines by addressing negatives early and directly.

How to Apply This Today

1. Identify potential objections: Before your next conversation, consider what concerns the other person might have.

2. Label the negative: Use phrases like "It seems like…" or "It looks like…" to acknowledge their emotions without judgment.

3. Pause and listen: After labeling the negative, allow the other person to respond. This gives them a sense of being heard and understood.

By embracing this simple but powerful technique, you'll foster trust, defuse tension, and become a more effective communicator and leader.

Check out Chris Voss's insights in this YouTube video to dive deeper.

Book Recommendations to Improve Your Communication Skills:

• Never Split the Difference - Chris Voss
• Crucial Conversations - Kerry Patterson & Joseph Grenny
• The 16 Undeniable Laws of Communication - John C. Maxwell

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Have a Great Week Leading!

Mark J. Cundiff

Learn | Grow | Lead

Learning to Lead
Helping Good Leaders Become Great Leaders
www.markjcundiff.com